


The Purge

by MsThunderFrost



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Purge Fusion, Dark Comedy, Dysfunctional Family, Established Relationship, Family Drama, M/M, Movie: The Purge (2013), Near Death Experiences, Parody, Post Mpreg, Survival Horror, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 13:17:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15195578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsThunderFrost/pseuds/MsThunderFrost
Summary: Following the events of DP2, the children from the Essex School move into Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. With the night of the annual Purge upon them, Wade is tasked with protecting his new family, including one four-year-old angel whose death might just be what it takes to push Cable past the point of no return, from the dangers of the outside world.Just remember all the good that the Purge does.





	The Purge

This is not a test.

This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Purge, sanctioned by the US Government.

Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted.

Government officials of ranking 10 or higher have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed.

Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours. Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 a.m., when the Purge –

The emergency broadcast is cut off as the television screen goes black. Cable is fumbling with the remote, irritation rolling off of him in waves, “You know, it’s exactly this sort of backwards thinking that fucks the world over in the future.”

“Really, after watching all four _Purge_ movies, you’d think we’d be able to come up with a better place to hide than in a mansion that’s been blown to kingdom come no less than six times.” Wade says with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

In the distance, he can hear Piotr chime in with, “House blowing up builds character.”

The mercenary rolls his eyes, “Sure it does, buddy. Sure it does. Tell me, how does the old man explain all of that damage to his insurance company? His rates must be through the roof.”

Negasonic snickers, “And then he found Liberty Mutual.”

“’e could ‘ave at least invested in some kinda security system.” Russell grumbles, locking the window and drawing the curtains closed. Not that a thin pane of glass would keep even the least determined killer out, but…

Justin Bieber’s doppelganger raises an eyebrow, “The house is filled to the brim with mutants with extraordinary powers -,”

“Whom we conveniently never see.” Wade adds helpfully.

“Maybe they just don’t _like_ you.” She continues, turning to level the older man with a glare.

Wade flung a hand over his heart dramatically. “Hurtful.”

“Besides, worst case scenario, use Wade as a human shield. Need I remind you that the dumb bastard can’t die?”

“Hurtful!”

Cable smacks Wade upside the head, earning a heartbroken, watery glare for his efforts. “Would you like some dinner with your whine, dumbass?” He grumbles, before his features soften considerably. “Where’s Juno?”

“Right here!” Yukio says as she makes her way in from the kitchen, the four-year-old snuggled serenely in her arms. She hands the little one over to Cable, before waving to Wade excitedly. “Hi Wade!”

The tears are gone almost immediately as Wade waves back, “Hi Yukio!”

Though it was true that most of the inhabitants of Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters had nothing to fear from the Purge, there were some inside the mansion that were too young to be able to defend themselves. And there were enough sick bastards in the world, who had a twisted desire to hurt people just because they were somehow different, that Cable felt more than a little sick when he heard the sirens blaring in the distance…

Juno was not the only little one inside the mansion. All of the children that they’d emancipated from the Essex School had found a new home at the school as well, and many were still in the early developing stages of their mutations. Countless children were in desperate need of their care, including the little girl, who looks too much like Hope for her own good, who is happily suckling at the sippy cup full of warm milk that Yukio had made for her.

As is customary for all B-horror movies, by the end of the twelve hour stretch of violence, at least fifty percent of them would be dead. In keeping with horror movie clichés, either Yukio or Negasonic would be the first to die, because, in tripping over thin air, they would manage to injure themselves so severely that, before they were able to regain their footing, the murderer would be able to catch up to them and brutally slaughter them.

The only reason he didn’t add Domino into the aforementioned category was because the girl seemed to be insanely lucky – though he wasn’t sure how lucky she was, exactly, to have gotten herself mixed up in this shit-show that they called a family. Besides, he really saw her dying in true _Psycho_ fashion, complete with glinting silver knives and dark red blood swirling down the drain as she clutched the shower curtain to keep from completely collapsing…

“Wade, are you even fucking listening to me?” Cable growls, and Wade snaps out of his murderous reverie long enough to note that everyone in the room is watching him intently.

“To be perfectly honest… no. I’m really not.” Wade attempts his best disarming smile, but it falls painfully flat.

Cable is practically oozing disappointment from his pores, but he’s also learned not to expect much more from the man. His brain is about as put together as a Jackson Pollock painting, and that’s on a good day. “I said, you’re gonna watch the kids.”

“Is it because of my natural, maternal instinct?” Wade asks, snickering.

“More like Negasonic is right and your dumbass can’t die.”

The mercenary’s face falls, “Aww, and here I was, thinking that you loved me.”

“I had a fucking kid with you. I should think that that would count for something.”

Gun shots ring out in the distance, the first of the evening. It would seem as if the festivities are starting early this year. Juno is keening, burying her face in the thick cords of Cable’s neck, “Scary sounds, Papa…”

Russell fishes around in his pocket, pulling out his iPod, as well as a pair of rainbow colored headphones. “’ere, the music will help to cancel out the worst of the sound.” A few seconds later, she’s happily bobbing to _Carolyn_ by Black Veil Brides.

Wade sets a hand on the little one’s back and says quietly, “Just remember all of the good the Purge does.” Then, his face scrunches up as if he’d just heard an amusing little tidbit, “How about a healthy dose of foreboding, anyone?”


End file.
